Helping people achieve better deeper connection in their romantic relationships by working towards secure attachment.
Why do I need an attachment style coach?
Attachment style theory was introduced in the late 1950s by John Bowlby and has been extensively studied and proven through hundreds of empirical studies. It is based on the fact that all of us are wired for connection and this begins early in our lives with the connections and bonds we develop with our caregivers. These early relationships we develop create subconscious beliefs and messages that follow us into adulthood and can be very predictive of how we show up in other close relationships, especially those with romantic partners. It gives invaluable insight into why we choose certain types of partners, our repeated relationship patterns (which may be dysfunctional), how we approach intimacy and conflict, where our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors stem from, helps us to find healthy ways to feel seen and understood, and get our needs met in healthy realistic ways. Attachment style coaching is simply using the science of attachment theory to change how you show up in relationships, communication, intimacy, and conflict to improve your closest, most valued relationships. It’s the perfect approach to finding or becoming a healthy, secure relationship partner or creating a attachment-friendly environment for your marriage to thrive.
Here some areas it can change your life and your relationships
Identify and heal your own attachment wounds
Learn how to best show up for your partner based on their attachment style
Learn how to raise securely attached children and break negative generational cycles
Overcome obstacles in intimacy, communication, commitment, boundaries, setting realistic expectations and conflict
Identify unhealthy relationship cycles and change behaviors to improve them
Identify and weaken triggers
Identify our needs and thoughts and evaluate when they are productive and when they are causing us to self-sabotage or impacting others negatively
Teach you to emotionally regulate and maintain a regulated nervous system
Teach you how to set effective boundaries to honor your own needs (and discover what those needs are)
Heal attachment injuries and repairs
Teach reprogramming techniques to move towards healthy and secure
Identify unhealthy behaviors that may be pushing your partner away
Take your thoughts hostage so they are productive rather than disruptive
Deal with attachment insecurities and distinguish between insecurities and truth
Coaching vs. Counseling
While traditional counseling spends a lot of time diagnosing and dissecting the past, coaching focuses more on introducing and implementing immediate, straightforward tools and techniques for change and success. It can be a quicker process with applicable strategies to get you on a healthier track faster. I do not provide a diagnosis or medical intervention, but rather teach tools and strategies that I can help you master. While we won’t completely ignore the history that led you to where you are today because making connections is important, we will use it as a guide for understanding and changing your present thoughts and behaviors rather than spending extensive time diving deep into it. Coaching and counseling can work together great hand in hand depending on your individual needs and you may choose to do one or the other or both simultaneously.
Another way to think of coaching is to think of a new job training. Your manager isn’t going to spend lots of time reviewing your past work history other than to get an idea of your previous experience, but rather they are going to help you develop the tools and processes you need now for the next steps in your career. They may build upon things you’ve learned from the past, or teach new skills to replace old ways of doing things, but the focus is on what you need to do now to succeed in your new role. That may include undoing some things you previously learned that won’t be productive in your new role. Your manager’s role is to help grow you, guide you, provide you with valuable feedback, and help you overcome obstacles and challenges that stand in the way of you meeting your goals. That’s what a coach does too!
Let me introduce myself
I have had a heart for helping, understanding and developing deep connections with people all of my life. I have an undergraduate degree in psychology and a Master’s in Social Work. I have worked with individuals in clinical counseling settings in arenas such as substance abuse, personality disorders, sexual trauma, autism, and abnormal psychology. I have worked with individuals struggling with phobias such as agoraphobia, abuse, domestic violence, schizophrenia, and much more. My interest in attachment theory began nearly 20 years ago in undergraduate school. I have also learned from and worked with other attachment style and relationship coaches. While I have worked in many arenas as well as children to adults, attachment theory has resonated the most with me and is where I think the most benefit can be derived from. It can be applied to so many different aspects of where we need work and healing and I chose to go into coaching because I personally prefer the techniques and concepts over traditional therapy and counseling. It better fits where I believe I can help individuals the most and promote healing and improvement faster.
From a personal journey perspective, I found myself turning to attachment theory during a time where I desperately sought help during my own healing journey after a major trauma in my own life sent me into a spiral. (Fearful avoidant leaning anxious who has earned secure attachment occasionally leaning anxious here!). After exploring other intense self-growth programs and other types of counseling and coaching, I discovered attachment theory helped me heal and grow the most. Attachment theory is applicable to so many areas of life and relationships which is why I believe it had the most benefit for me. It brings a new level of understanding to so many areas as well as simple, effective tools to overcome so many different struggles that attachment wounds contribute to. It helped me identify my own attachment style, work on myself to become more secure, and it was a goal of mine to show up better for my husband and children by understanding their attachment styles. I am also a Christian, and faith-based healing was a large part of my healing journey as well.
The tools and techniques I use have been proven by neuroscientific studies, are backed by science, while simultaneously aligning with God’s word. Everything is rooted in science that has repeatedly been proven.
If your marriage is in crisis, I have the perfect program for you. I want to help you transform your marriage and start seeing results quickly. It is my calling to help you work towards your own healing and secure attachment, as well as to achieve the thriving, safe, healthy, deeply connected, God-centered marriage that awaits you.
Renewed Marriage Program
My passion and number one goal as a coach is to help save and transform Christian marriages. Attachment injuries and ruptures lead to divorce, pain, and disconnect in marriages every day. I have walked through my own season where attachment injuries needed repair and on the other side found a marriage I never even dreamed was possible. I want that for YOU. I want that for as many marriages as I can impact.
Attachment ruptures and injuries such as years of neglect, chronic disconnect, infidelity, pornography addictions and other addictions, years of unmet needs, strongholds of bitterness and resentment that have set into the marriage, and damaging conflict call for immediate repair. Without acknowledgment and repair, your marriage simply cannot thrive. However, couples who make it to the other side of attachment injuries with complete healing are far stronger than before. I find they are usually stronger than couples who haven’t overcome such things because they have a level of vulnerability, intimacy, transparency, spiritual growth, understanding, acceptance, safety, and connection that most couples struggle to find naturally.
This is a 90 day intensive program geared towards couples needing to repair from major attachment ruptures. No matter how big your issues, this can reinstate hope into your marriage and give you a chance to completely transform it. It only takes one of you to get the journey started to fight for your marriage. I know it works because I’ve been there myself. I am now offering all that I’ve learned from all the books I’ve read, all the clinical experience I have under my belt, all the coaches I have studied and learned from, into a very simple, practical program that anyone can do and get results quickly. If you have made it this far, your marriage more than likely needs repair and you have felt hopeless at some point. Maybe you feel that way now. I am here to tell you there IS hope, and together you, I, and God can find healing and repair.
12 Week Program
Individual or Couples
If couples: One individual session with each partner required at start
Includes
One 45 minute virtual session weekly
Full access to me via email between sessions
Practical tools
Learning worksheets
Homework and skills practice to guide you between sessions
Actual real-life scripts and examples to work through
Progress checks
And more...
Cost
$500 per month
or
3 months for $1300